


If Death Ain't In Town, Nobody's Dying

by casey270



Series: Halloween [4]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Gen, Halloween
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 14:12:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casey270/pseuds/casey270
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for the Glam 100 prompt: Riding</p>
<p>Adam and Tommy take a train ride with a vacationing Death</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Death Ain't In Town, Nobody's Dying

**Author's Note:**

> The title and one line are pretty much direct quotes from Supernatural. I fucking love that show.

“So, what? You’re trying to make us believe you’re Death? Like, literally, Grim fucking Reaper Death, and you’re just, like, on vacation or something?”

Adam’s idea of taking a haunted train ride for Halloween hadn’t knocked Tommy’s socks off at first, but maybe meeting an actual and in fact crazy, delusional nutcase is all it needed. He’d still rather be checking out the zombie walk, but what the hell, right? They’re stuck on a moving train with a bunch of lame ass people in lame ass costumes, and this is the first thing that’s even come close to being interesting.

~*~

“ So, like, you can touch my forehead, and I’ll die, just like that?”

“It doesn’t quite work that way, no. You’ve been watching too many movies. I don’t suck people’s essence from their bodies, either.” Death takes another drink from his jack on the rocks, which makes Tommy think the guy can’t be too far gone. Nobody can be completely batshit crazy if they know what to drink. “And you have the most infuriating habit of saying like at the most inappropriate times. Over and over, again and again, ad nauseum. I’ve taken people for lesser offences in the past.”

~*~

“He does that when he’s scared. I’ve seen it before”

“I’m not scared, Adam. I’m just, like, excited. It's totally not the same thing.” And Tommy absolutely isn’t scared, except maybe just a little bit. The guy’s brainsick looney, after all. He could decide to murder them both just to prove his delusions are true, but Tommy can’t pass up the chance to drive home his point. “There’s no Heaven. There’s no Hell. There are no gods or devils or angels. There’s no need for an angel of death to escort anyone to someplace that doesn’t even fucking exist, dude.”

~*~

“I don’t think he likes that, Tommy. It might not be a good thing to make Death mad.”

“That’s the whole point right there, Adam. Death is something that happens to you when your body malfunctions for whatever fucking reason. It isn’t some crazy dude or spirit or a multidimensional wavelength of demonic intent. There’s nothing metaphysical about it. It just happens. You’re alive, then you die. There’s nobody there to escort you to the promised land, because the only fucking promise in death is that you’re not alive anymore. If he thinks he’s Death, let him prove it now.”

~*~

“Maybe you shouldn’t tempt him that way. He might not look like Death, but he’s got a weirdly intense aura.”

“Charles Manson has a weirdly intense aura. This guy just has a hawaiian shirt and a crazy line. If he were Death, he wouldn’t hesitate to prove it. We’re riding on a train full of people. You can’t tell me that there’s not one person whose time is about up, or who’s ready to have their ticket punched.”

“What part of being on vacation do you not understand?” 

That cements it for Tommy. Death wouldn’t be such a fucking smartass.

~*~

“So, what? We’re supposed to believe that no one dies while you take some time for yourself? That I could jump off this moving rain and I wouldn’t end up with a scratch? That Adam could have all the pyro he wanted onstage without worrying about torching himself?” The gleam of desire in Adam’s eye over this idea isn’t lost on him, but Tommy’s in no way a believer in the existence of the psychopomp this stranger is claiming to be, let alone the possibility of there being any truth to the claims.

“I’m not asking for your belief, gentlemen.”

~*~

Something in the guy’s eyes makes Tommy believe him, about the not asking for their belief, anyway. There’s no way in hell he’s ever going to actually _believe_.

"Swaying your theologies isn’t my job. My job is death. And one day, you'll realize that’s true. Besides, Pain and Suffering are still on the job, so I wouldn't recommend doing anything too drastic. Those two like their work a little too much."

Picking up his glass, the man who wants to be known as Death takes another drink. “We’ll see each other again. Until then, you’ll just have to have faith.”


End file.
